My Baby is no longer a Baby

#kidsby Lian OkolieApr 6th, 2020

The only black in the village

Enjoy lool...

Wow! I can’t believe it. My 23 month old just went ‘potty’.

Why am I so surprised, I mean, she’s almost 2 and her sister Maia started when she was 1. But with Mika it all seems so different. I still see her as a baby, not just in the general sense of she’s my baby, but she seems to be more of a baby than her sister was at the same age.

It definitely has something to do with the fact that she was born 2 months premature. My memories thinking back to that time are “ my goodness, she’s tiny”. That period of time for me was not the greatest of experiences, but we made it through after a month in the hospital. We were good, Mika was here and she was perfect.

Having that history with her from her birth, I knew that going forward there would be, not challenges, but she would be a bit behind everybody else her age. I remember when she was 1 and she still wasn’t walking yet, she was a ‘master crawler though’, I thought about her sister Maia, who didn't crawl but started walking when she was 1. It didn't worry me, but that was when I started to notice the differences between my two daughters. I knew that she would be behind others her age, but I also knew that all babies progress at their own pace regardless of whether they are premature or not. Knowing that I thought, “yh she’s fine, there’s nothing to worry about”.

Moving forward, 17 months, she still wasn’t walking , but she was starting to want to. She would stand up and hold on to things to help her along. I remember she had a wooden playpen which didn't have a bottom (so when she's in it her feet are on the ground) I had to strap it to a beam to stop her from going walkabout when she was in it.Seeing that reaffirmed to me that she was on track, afterall, I know kids who didn't walk till they were 2.

At 18 months she woke up one day and decided it was time. She just started taking steps, less than a week later she had forgotten all about her crawling days… She was a big girl now.

Just before Mika started walking, Brice started to get worried about her progress, he wanted to get her checked out. I knew she was fine because I could see her strong character shine through everyday. I could see her making progress in her own way, I was confident enough to tell him “she’s fine”. I knew he was comparing her to her sister who started to walk and talk(single words only) when she was one. “She’ll walk when she’s ready, She’ll talk when she’s ready”. That was another thing, she wasn't really talking then. Even now, at 23 months, it was only about 3-4 weeks ago that she started saying words properly.

For about 2 months now she has been saying water, in French, but that was about it until 3 weeks ago when she started trying to use more words and is even trying to sing (albeit just one song over and over and over and over and over…. lol). Bing Bong zoo by Peppa Pig, I think I hear that song about 500 times each day… I've even started singing it myself (it’s that bad). But hey, who am I to complain, my babies singing. That definitely reassured Brice. And now I’m happy because he's stopped putting that ‘she’s not ok vibe’ out there. I was confident, but still you don’t want to hear that negative train of thought.

Mika’s non stop now. We've been waiting for her to talk and we got what we wanted. She screams Mummy and Daddy, amongst other things, in French and English. She understands French and English too.

So back to today, she started screaming Wee! Wee! Wee! and she was crying. She does this sometimes but when you put her on the potty she starts laughing and playing and doesn't do anything. So I thought, she’s not ready, maybe she's just copying her sister and so I don’t always take her seriously when she starts the wee wee talk. But today I thought, you know what, this girl is crying, maybe she does want to go. I remember having a conversation with my aunt a few days ago about the fact that Mika cries wee wee wee, and she told me “Mikas ready, just start putting her on the potty, she’s ready”.

I've read this in books, I know this. But I still see her as a baby, probably because it took a while for her to get to this point. That's why I was shocked today because she was seriously crying saying she wanted to wee. Then I noticed she was crossing her legs… at this point I know she was serious. So I put her on the potty and waited for a few minutes, not the usual 5, the first 5 mins is when she's excited about sitting on the potty so she’s laughing and playing forgetting that she wanted the potty in the first place (potty training is all about patience, not so easy when you have 2 toddlers running about. But patience goes a long long way). So I decided to leave her there and keep reminding her that she said she wanted to wee. At the 10min mark I started to smell something and I saw her face, you know that face babies make when they’re doing a poo, like they’re angry. Her face was squeezed up and with that smell it was quite obvious what was happening. She was staring at me with her big eyes, but that smell woo! At least I don’t have to clean a dirty nappy tonight. It made me feel so good. It was shocking, it made me realise how I still see her as a baby and I really shouldn't. Forget the fact that she was premature she’s there now, she's almost 2 and she's there, she's with us. Mika's not a baby anymore, she's very aware especially of what she wants and what she DOESN'T want.

The only black in the village

It was an eye opener for me. So yeah, today is the day that my baby is no longer a baby baby in my eyes. She is now officially a toddler!

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